Career In A Nutshell: The B-52's

B-52's - B-52's

With the release of their self-titled album, the B-52's launched a musical missile. the affects of which the musical world would not immediately feel, but, by the time the band made their network television debut on Saturday Night Live, it was more delayed gratification than detonation. That's because, in those pre-MTV days, all most of us had to go on was the music. Sure, the album cover gave us some indication of a band's look and attitude, but it wasn't until our teenage eyes saw the B-52's in action that the full impact of this band would be felt.

We can only imagine what it must have been like to have caught the band playing the party circuit in Athens, GA or a dive bar in NYC, but it must have been a visual experience forever burned into one's retinas; the bee-hive hair-do's of Kate Pierson and Cindy Wilson, the John Waters-ian carnival barker that is Fred Schneider, and the skin-tight rhythms of drummer Keith Strickland and guitarist Ricky Wilson. Even in a music scene that seemed so packed with bands that had their own look and sound, the B-52's must have surely stood out from the crowd.

Of course, we're still trying to work out how Island Records president Chris Blackwell came to produce their debut album, but not release it on his own label in the US. Instead, the album came out on the big brother of record labels, Warner Brothers, which, at the time was a bit of a conundrum. Sure, there were executives at the label who signed acts on the basis of their artistic vision, but there was always an underlying pressure to make hits and sell more records. Those who didn't tended to not stick around long. For every Tom Waits, whose albums garnered much more critical acclaim than actual sales, there were twenty acts who got dropped for turning in the same sales numbers. Would the B-52's be given a second chance, my young mind thought, or would they be a brief experiment quickly abandoned by a huge media conglomerate for not moving enough units.

Enough about the business-side of music, for now at least. What struck us about the band's first album was that it seemed so confident in its own greatness that it didn't even need to offer its best song first. Instead, the mostly-instrumental "Planet Claire" seemed to act as a sort of palette cleanser, allowing you to clear your ears of whatever you'd been listening to before. "52 Girls" followed, delivering its own blitzkrieg of jittery surf guitars and infectious girl-group harmonies. The entire song is one king-size hook headed straight for your subconscious. Whether you chose to dance or not, this song would still be doing the boogaloo in your brain hours, if not days, later.

What followed was the roundhouse one-two punch of "Dance This Mess Around" and "Rock Lobster", which raised the stakes considerably and proved that this band knew exactly how to throw a dance party and raise the level of anticipation and gratification with expert precision so as to achieve the desired affect. After all, you don't just go for the throat on the first song and then keep hammering at the audience. No, no, no, you create an ebb and flow that pushes and pulls at the senses, leaves them guessing, slyly enveloping them and enticing them to let you do with them what you will. This isn't a rock album, this is a seduction, baby.


B-52's - Wild Planet

Arriving less than a year after the release of their riveting debut effort, there were many who wondered if there was any way the B-52's could top themselves. After all, few bands arrive so fully formed on their first album, and even fewer are able to repeat the feat on their second album.

Where their first album began with the shy wave hello that was "Planet Claire", by comparison, Wild Planet jumps out from behind the curtains, yells, "Surprise!", and offers you a drink of unknown origin and alcohol content. "Party Out Of Bounds", indeed.

With producer Rhett Davies at the controls, the sound is just as no-frills as the debut, but the bottom end is just a little thicker, and the edges, while plentiful, aren't quite as jagged. With as little studio trickery as possible, what you heard was the band as they were meant to be heard. If any song seems to benefit from Davies’ production style, it would be "Dirty Back Road", which might have sounded like a throwaway track if produced as dryly as their first album. Here, with proper emphasis on the more atmospheric elements, the song packs a deceptively seductive punch.

The downside, however small, might be that songs like "Runnin' Around" and "Devil In My Car" don't pack the same primal punch under Davies’ command. It's songs like "Private Idaho" and "Give Me Back My Man" that show the band moving into Version 2.0 of their artistic progression. In fact, in many ways, the former seems to be an obvious updating of "Rock Lobster", while the latter integrates subtle instrumental elements, such as counter-harmonies, layered guitars, and electronic percussion, to heighten the song's impact.

While this is a different B-52's, for sure, it isn't so much a band being forced into change by an overbearing producer as a band simply progressing naturally and finding the right producer to help them reach the next plateau.


B-52’s – Party Mix!

While the idea of this EP was innovative for the time – three songs on each side, mixed so that each track segued into the other, hence the title Party Mix! – one couldn’t help feel that the label was trying to milk the fans rather than give us something new. After all, the material featured on this EP was taken from the band’s first two albums.


B-52’s – Mesopotamia

The appearance of yet another EP less than half a year after the release of Party Mix! left many B-52’s fans scratching their heads. Sure, it was produced by David Byrne and showed the band moving into a slightly darker, more experimental territory, but it was still only an EP. Considering that it had been eighteen months since they’d given the world a proper full-length album, the release of an EP seemed to signal either a serious bout of writer’s block on the band’s part, or a reluctance on the part of Warner Brothers to give fans a new LP. Considering the fact that Wild Planet had gone gold, it was incredibly odd to get the feeling that Warner hadn’t enough faith in the band to sign-off on a full-length. Only in recent years, did it become known that the tensions between Byrne and the band had led to the halt of recording sessions halfway through the album. Thus, the band released only those tracks that they’d managed to complete.


B-52's - Whammy!

For those used to the organic live-in-the-studio sound of their past work, hearing those trademark girl group harmonies soaring atop a bed of pre-programmed synthesizers and drum machines came as quite a shock. Granted, this was the Eighties and every band's drummer suddenly had a lot of time on their hands, it seemed.

For a band that had always gloriously oozed personality, it was hard to tell this album from the new Book Of Love record. While the musical decade that was "The '80s" is looked back upon with such fondness, the production sound that was so de rigueur by 1983 was perfect for some artists, but "the great homogenizer" to others. Bands like the B-52's, whose first two albums had bristled with such intensity, were rendered almost unrecognizable.

The main problem is that, for all of the bombastic bells and whistles, whether there's an actual song to be found beneath the metronomic iron-fist production is anyone's guess. As hooky as album-opener "Legal Tender" may be, one can't help but wonder if it would have passed the muster during sessions for their first two albums.

"Whammy Kiss", by comparison, sounds like an outtake from Devo's Freedom Of Choice and sees the band finally yanking Fred Schneider out of storage. "Song For A Future Generation", while a fan favorite and worthy of inclusion on their greatest hits album despite not actually being "a hit", has always rubbed me the wrong way. The B-52's singing a song, however tongue-in-cheek, about two shallow freaks deciding to have a baby is a serious thematic misstep in the B-52's canon. Such themes are better left to ‘80s-era Peter, Paul & Mary comeback albums. "Butterbean", while being the second tune in a row on the album to see the band name-check their hometown of "Athens, GA", it is the most dreadful B-52's tune to ever come down the pike. It's like "Song For A Future Generation" had been trying to warn me of the impending musical doom that is "Butterbean".


B-52’s – Bouncing Off The Satellites

With a two-year gap between albums – something that was almost unheard of back in those days – the B-52’s returned with their fourth full-length album and tried to right the ship after the critical and commercial failure of Whammy! Working with Tony Mansfield (formerly of British synth-pop band New Musik), the band seemed intent on straddling the line between synth-pop and live performance. The end result was campy, no doubt, but it just didn’t feel like the band’s heart was in it. Before the album was released, guitarist Ricky Wilson died of complication from HIV/AIDS, throwing the band into a tailspin. The album was released in late 1986, but the band refused to tour to promote it. Thus, the album only barely dented the Top 100. At this point, one could hardly blame the press and fans for writing the band off. The B-52’s were, after all, a party band and Wilson’s death seemed to stop the band members in their tracks.


B-52’s – Cosmic Thing

Coming three years after their most disappointing record, and the death of founding member Ricky Wilson, Cosmic Thing makes quick work of introductions and gets right down to rocking. Never before has a once-great band so rejuvenated, bouncing from one energetic groove to the next over the course of the album’s ten jubilantly celebratory tracks. Not only were longtime fans of the band back in the fold, an entire new generation of fans were drawn into the band’s wicked web by the constant radio and MTV rotation of hits “Love Shack”, “Roam” and “Deadbeat Club”. The album reached a peak position of #4 in the US and would go on to outsell their entire back catalog.



B-52’s – Good Stuff

If this was a Genesis album it would be called And Then There Were Three. Hoping to continue their success by utilizing much the same formula employed on Cosmic Thing, the B-52’s were missing two very important ingredients; Cindy Wilson (who’d decided to leave the band and retire from the music business) and good songs. Thus, this follow-up effort fell far short of Cosmic Thing, both critically and commercially. It isn’t so much that the song are bad, per se, but that the band seems in such a serious mood, as if all the good times they’ve had over the years have finally caught up with them. If Cosmic Thing was a pitcher of margaritas, Good Stuff was the hangover and nobody wanted to buy a hangover. Sadly, the band slowed the pace considerably at this point, touring occasionally, but no longer releasing new material. Two different compilations, Songs For A Future Generation and Nude On The Moon were released in 1998 and 2002, respectively.



B-52’s – Funplex

Sixteen years after their last proper album, the four surviving members of the B-52’s reunited to record Funplex and, in doing so, proved that you’re never too old to have a good time. With members all in their 50’s by now, it’s refreshing to see the B-52’s still capable of raising the roof, albeit in Y2K fashion. What that means, of course, is that most of the instruments are programmed and the vocals are auto-tuned here and there. At times, it seems the band is fighting to inject their personality into the faceless, over-the-top electronic production, but, thankfully, the songs themselves are solid pulse-pounders. “Funplex” and “Juliet Of The Spirits” went on to be huge dance floor hits all over the world, giving us hope that this is not the last we hear from this band.


B-52’s – With The Wild Crowd: Live In Athens, GA

Anyone who thinks the idea of a B-52’s live album is absurd has never seen the band live. The truth is, as great as their first two albums may have been, the concert stage has always been where their material has truly jumped off the vinyl, grabbed you by the hand, and seduced you into dancing your ass off.

Once you hear the band’s brand-new live album, your first thought will be “Damn, these songs are TIGHT!” Your next will be, “Why did these guys wait so damn long to release a live album?!” The 18 songs that comprise this Flaming Volcano of a live album are spread quite evenly over the band’s career, but even if you’re a fan of the early stuff, or the “Love Shack” days, you’ll find a lot to like here. The band’s energy and buoyant attitude keeps the whole thing in high gear and the party just doesn’t let up until every last person’s heart joyfully explodes. That a band whose first album came out almost 34 years ago can still manage to blow the roof off the dump is a testament to “clean living”, wink, wink, and we can only hope that there is more to come from this legendary band. Are they in the Hall of Fame yet? Well, they should be!

The Shit List: Top 10 Best Old School Heavy Metal Albums [PART TWO]

For those who enjoyed our first installment, we now bring you the rest of our selections in the latest Shit List: Top 10 Best Old School Heavy Metal Albums. Enjoy!



Iron Maiden / The Number Of The Beast

Sure, you’d be hard-pressed to include Iron Maiden in metal’s first wave, but their triumphant 1982 masterpiece is definitely an old school main-stay that belongs on any metal Top 10 list. While not exactly speed metal, Maiden was the first band to up-the-tempos while, at the same time, seeing how many guitarists they could fit onstage! HA! This album is remarkable for not only featuring new drummer Clive Burr, but a new singer by the name of Bruce Dickinson. Together, they set the band’s iconic line-up in concrete. Those who don’t think this album was essential never visited an amusement park during the summer of ’82. If they had, they’d have lost track of all the Maiden t-shirts. In the years since its release, the monstrous impact of this album remains fully intact. One listen to “Run To The Hills”, “Hallowed Be Thy Name, or the blistering title cut and you’ll be picking your jaw off the floor.


Metallica / Ride The Lightning

Sure, Metallica have completely lost touch with their inner metalheads – how else to explain the musical atrocity that is “Lulu”, the album they recorded with Lou Reed? – but back in 1984, these guys injected som,e serious venom into the metal mix, proving that this California-based underdog could rock with the best of them. Granted, it took a European tape-trading frenzy to bring them to the attention of metal fans in their own backyard, but it is this ambition that breathes serious life into this album, which remains the #1 most influential thrash metal album ever recorded. Anyone who can listen to the one-two throat punch of “Ride The Lightning” and “For Whom The Bell Tolls” and not be banging their head gloriously off the dashboard should be checked for a pulse. While many might call “…And Justice For All” the band’s best album, it is this effort that sees a young and hungry Metallica out to prove they can hang with the big boys. They would never sound this vibrant again.



Ozzy Osbourne / Blizzard Of Ozz

With the original line-up of Black Sabbath having run out of ideas and patience with one another, the state of heavy metal in general lied in peril. Truth be told, other once great bands like Deep Purple and UFO had fallen victim to internal squabbles as well. Additionally, punk and new wave had become the musical genres most closely associated with teenage rebellion. It wasn’t until Ozzy Osbourne teamed with former Quiet Riot guitarist Randy Rhoads to record his legendary debut solo album that heavy metal was literally reinvented. Almost instantly after its release, every disillusioned kid in suburbia knew the words to every song on this album and Ozzy Osbourne was enjoying the greatest commercial success of his career mere months after virtually every major label in the US and UK had turned him down. Like Eddie Van Halen had done a couple years earlier, Randy Rhoads masterful riffage on this album set in motion a tsunami of teenage wanna-be’s who began emulating his style. While his prowess is undeniable, it is the strength of the songs and the cohesive nature of the album that made Ozzy a household name a year after getting kicked out of Sabbath.


Starz / Violation

While some may dismiss this band simply because their lone hit, "Cherry Baby", was a little on the sugary side, anyone who has taken the time to listen to this entire album knows exactly why Metal Blade Records saw fit to release the band's entire catalog in the '90s...because this band literally defined the genre that would become pop metal, or hair metal, or whatever you wish to call it. One listen to the devilishly twisted lyrics of songs "Subway Terror" (sung from the POV of a serial rapist), "Violation" (railing against the confines of life in an institution) and the Stones-y "Cool One", with the hilarious line "She reached over and she squeezed on my rocks/I lost it all in the popcorn box". Despite the band's stunning ability to slay audiences with their twin-guitar attack and over-the-top showmanship, a legion of lesser acts (*cough*POISON*cough) stole their schtick and rode it to platinum success, proving that perhaps this band was merely a decade or so ahead of their time.


Thin Lizzy / Jailbreak

I still remember the very first time I heard the song "Jailbreak". I was maybe ten years old, riding around in an Econoline van with my teenage uncle and my younger brother. My uncle had control of the 8-track player, of course, and was pumping the jams. As the part in the song where a siren wails in the background, my little brother actually leaned out the window to see if the cops were chasing us. Unc and I laughed our asses off. Cherished childhood memories aside, Jailbreak remains one of the finest moments in heavy metal, with Phil Lynott and company brandishing the mighty metal sword that would see them play to hundreds of thousands of devoted fans and influence the likes of Metallica's James Hetfield. This loose concept album is a non-stop riff-laden tour de force that charges at you like a pissed-off bull in a china shop, beginning with the aforementioned title cut and continuing the barrage with monumental tracks like "The Boys Are Back In Town" and "Cowboy Song". By the time the final strains of "Emerald" fade out, the listener is left completely spent, both arms tired from endless air-guitar playing.

Al Jourgenson Suffers Relapse!

When "Uncle Al" Jourgensen announced the end of Ministry in 2008, a lot of folks figured this supposed retirement would be a brief one. Considering the rumors of Al being on his death bed on more than one occasion over the past couple years, though, one couldn't help think that maybe Ministry (and Al) really was history.
http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
Then, on 11-11-11, the album that has been rumored to be near-completion for just as long (if not longer) than "Chinese Democracy", the Buck Satan & The 666 Shooters album finally saw proper release. Will miracles never cease?

Of course, all of this is icing on the cake compared to the not-so-long-awaited Ministry reunion that will culminate in the release of a new studio album in early 2012 (entitled "Relapse") and a brief tour that will see Ministry hold court for two nights (June 28 and 29, with talk of a third show to be added if ticket sales are strong enough) at the Vic Theatre.

Tickets for the Vic Theatre shows are already on sale. CLICK HERE to buy tickets.

The Shit List: Top 10 Best Old School Heavy Metal Albums [PART ONE]

As the days grow shorter and darkness falls a little sooner each day, we at The Shit find that our musical tastes as of late have also gravitated towards the darker, heavier sounds. In other words, we've been listening to a lot of heavy metal lately. Thing is, the very term "heavy metal" has come to mean so many different things that we felt it was not only necessary to define "heavy metal" by putting together the definitive list of true metal albums, which we call, simply, The Top 10 Old School Heavy Metal Albums Of All Time!

As with all of our lists, our selections appear in no particular order.



Judas Priest / British Steel

If you call yourself a metal maniac and don't own this record, you may as well have a pile of Barbie dolls and Justin Beiber posters under your bed. Whatever heavy metal had been prior to this album's release, Rob Halford & Co. virtually reinvented the genre with this record, which has stood as a monolithic heavy metal template for 30+ years. For starters, this album is the first to feature the full classic line-up, which was rounded out by the introduction of drummer Dave Holland on this record. Holland's addition solidified the rhythm section, adding more pavement-chewing power to the twin-guitar attack of Glenn Tipton and KK Downing. Upon taking one listen to the iconic riffage of "Breaking The Law", the pulsating drive of "Living After Midnight", and the annihilating groove of "Grinder", metal fans knew they were witnessing the dawn of a new period in metal. Even 30 years later, this album still packs one helluva punch. Best to not stand too close to the speakers, for fear of catching a metal-spiked knuckle sandwich.


Deep Purple / Machine Head

Before we start raving about this one, we think it bears to mention that back in these halcyon days of metal, bands didn't just rocket to the top of the charts with their first album. Nope, back in those days, the road to fame and fortune was a long one, full of dead-end streets and tricky terrain. For Deep Purple, it took them six albums to finally reach the mass audience they now fully deserved. With the release of Machine Head in 1972 the band's transformation from prog-rock act to full-blown heavy metal trailblazer was complete and, with it, came their first taste of worldwide success. Sure, this is the album that has "Smoke On The Water" on it. That, in and of itself, qualifies this album for inclusion on just about any list of great metal albums, but anyone who has taken the time to listen to the rest of the album will find a virtual treasure trove of metal gold sprinkled liberally over the album's seven tracks. That's right, this album has only seven songs on it. Why only seven, you ask? Because these seven songs were so fucking heavy, man. Your standard slice of 12" vinyl could literally not hold any more. With the inclusion of jaw-dropping rockers like "Highway Star", "Lazy", and "Space Truckin'", this album is the definitive Deep Purple record and one of the heaviest records ever made.


Black Sabbath / Paranoid

While many consider the band's debut album, released less than six months prior to this one, to be the shot that started the musical movement that is "heavy metal", we at The Shit consider Paranoid to be first truly great heavy metal album ever made. Sure, that first record sounds like it dropped out of a fucking space ship, sounding completely unlike anything anyone had ever heard before, but the songwriting still left a little to be desired. On Paranoid, though, the band hit upon a truly potent powder keg of hooks and monster riffage that was highlighted by songs such as "War Pigs", "Iron Man", and the title cut. In hindsight, we truly believe that if Paranoid had been Black Sabbath's first album, it would have blown the heads off of all who heard it. By breaking in their audience with a debut album that was, in essence, a warning shot, the world was that much more ready to digest the metal that was to come. Amazingly, this album sounds just as subversive and evil as the day it came out. Even more amazingly, the original Black Sabbath line-up has recently reunited and will unveil a new album and world tour in 2012.


King Crimson / In The Court Of The Crimson King

Okay, many who've never heard it, dismiss this album as "prog wankery", but that's just their complete ignorance talking. In truth, this album is as heavy as any heavy metal album ever made and, based on that fact alone, it qualifies for this list. Truth be told, on paper, this group led by classically-trained guitarist Robert Fripp should never have been able to create an album this monstrously heavy. From the opening wail of "21st Century Schizoid Man", this album literally rockets out of the speakers with a sense of premeditated mayhem that is starkly mesmerizing. There is a dissonant urgency to the album that perfectly matches the album cover of an obviously horrified man captured mid-scream. While the album contains only five songs, the arrangements are so complex that there seems to be many smaller songs within each song, each playing a part in an overall conceptual presentation that is as visual as it is musical.


Motorhead / Ace Of Spades

The very fact that Motorhead lived long enough to make their first album is a testament to the strength of supreme underdog, Lemmy Kilmister. After all, their first album was initially recorded after they'd enlisted a recording engineer to record their final gig after failing to get a record deal. Said engineer then offered to take them into the studio to record a single, which turned into a mnarathon recording session that saw the band lay down thirteen basic tracks. As if that weren't enough, the band kept hammering away until they finally put all the pieces together on their fourth album, Ace of Spades, thereby creating an explosive heavy metal masterpiece that can still knock you on your ass. Lemmy, of course, attributes new producer Vic Maile with much of the credit for helping the band finally harness the raw power that they'd long displayed as a live act, and for pushing Lemmy to write some of his best songs ever. Lemmy, of course, did just that, turning in such gems as "Shoot You In The Back", "Jailbait", and the legendary title cut.

CATCH PART TWO NEXT TUESDAY!!

The Shit List: The Top 10 Best Debut Albums of ALL TIME!! [PART TWO]

Boston (1976)

Considering how long it has repeatedly taken band leader/perfectionist Tom Scholz to record subsequent albums, it is amazing this album ever saw the light of day. Recorded mostly in his home studio and hand-delivered to CBS Records in much the same condition as the version we all know as "the first Boston album", this record literally jumped out of car speakers and grabbed millions of teenage rock fans by the throat, musically throttling them into submission. Scholz and company took simple ingredients (guitars, bass, drums, and vocals) and created a musical hybrid that sounds wholly unique and has yet to be effectively copied in the 35 years since this album came out. While Scholz' genius is well-documented and the quality of his songs inarguable, one would be hard pressed to find a better vocalist to realize the greatness of the material than one Bradley Delp. He literally made the songs soar like the guitar-shaped spaceship that would become the band's trademark.


Big Star / #1 Record (1972)

I've always thought that if this record came out today, it would still be ahead of its time. As with all pioneers, Big Star languished in obscurity, unknowingly paving the way for a multitude of other bands to rocket to fame and fortune years later. Upon its release, a Billboard magazine record review stated that "every cut could be a single" and they were absolutely right. Unfortunately, the band's label encountered distribution troubles and was unable to keep a steady supply of the album in record stores. The buzz surrounding the band eventually fizzled, leaving this album as one of the great unsung masterpieces of the early '70s.



Van Halen (1978)

Very few albums have landed with the seismic impact of the very first Van Halen record. Upon hearing "Running With The Devil" blasting out of their radios, thousands of teenage kids started emulating Eddie Van Halen's one-of-a-kind guitar pyrotechnics. Frontman David Lee Roth was half-swashbuckler/half carnival barker, but hadn't yet become the cartoon character he would be by '81. In hindsight, Van Halen may have paved the way for the entire hair metal/Sunset Strip aesthetic, but, without that, there'd have been no Weezer, no Nirvana, or no Pearl Jam.



The Police / Outlandos D'Amour (1978)

This UK band was such an unlikely success story: 37-year-old guitarist, former prog-drummer, and a singer/bassist formerly of forgettable faux-jazzers Last Exit. Yet these likeable chaps hit upon a truly winning formula when they integrated reggae into their heady mix of guitar-driven anglo-pop. Few bands are so fortunate as to hit upon a sound that is entirely their own, but that’s what The Police did. Of course, there are still a few remnants of their punk days – “Next To You”, “Can’t Stand Losing You”, and “So Lonely”, to name just a few – but it is the floating reggae riddim of “Roxanne” that puts this band on the proverbial map.


Led Zeppelin / Led Zeppelin 1 (1969)

We’re hard-pressed to think of a single band whose debut album could be released as a “greatest hits” album as-is…other than Led Zeppelin and their absolutely hit-filled debut effort. Seriously, catch a load of the track listing:

“Good Times Bad Times”
“Babe I’m Gonna Leave You”
“You Shook Me”
“Dazed And Confused”

And that’s just side one!

Needless to say, this album remains a flawless template for heavy metal that has stood for over 40 years.

Is The New Noel Gallagher Album Shit Or THE SHIT??

With the release of his first full-length solo record, Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds, former Oasis guitarist Noel Gallagher breaks a two-year silence and, in doing so, finally joins his brother Liam in the post-Oasis sweepstakes. Liam, of course, lobbed the first grenade with his band Beady Eye and, while that album was not without its charm, many (myself included) felt the band and the album wore their influences a tad too obviously.

Of course, Noel is no stranger to penning tunes that owe an obvious debt to "the classics" - the Beatles, for starters - so perhaps its a bit much to expect Noel to shun all imitation now.

Album opener "Everyone's On The Run" sounds like the sort of Oasis b-side that a sold-out Wembley Stadium crowd knows all the words to, its grandeur tastefully heightened by a sweeping string section. Heck, I can see the video in my mind's eye, Noel at the mic, singing to the back row as a fan unfurls a large banner that reads "Liam Who?!"

"Dream On" follows, sounding very much like the song Chris Martin has been trying to write all his life. Noel's love for Coldplay's "Yellow" notwithstanding, this track proves quite succinctly that Noel's talents far out-kick Martin & Co. when so inclined.

Let's face it, unless he's been quietly blowing through his cash since splitting Oasis, Noel's got enough money to never need to make another album. He's sold millions, played to millions, seen his name in lights, and those of us who've never experienced such things respectfully wonder what's really left to prove? Of course, that hasn't stopped many a rock legend from making a crap album anyway.



"If I Had A Gun" defies its own title in exploring Noel's wistful, sentimental side. It's the sort of song the hooligans would've hated, but the girls would have loved and, at the end of the day, it's the girls who really matter. After all, hooligans don't buy records, they steal 'em.

Thus far, stylistically speaking, the album hasn't strayed too far from the Oasis formula, which is just fine by me. One surmises that if Noel had gone out trying to sound like anything but Oasis, most of his fan base would have chucked the album out the window by now. Therein lies the rub for a guy like Noel. Maybe he really wants to make a country album. Or maybe his heart lies in the burgeoning Icelandic folk metal scene. Sadly, because he's known the world over as the guitarist/songwriter/sometimes-singer in Oasis, he's forever tethered to that soulful mid-tempo rock sound for which Oasis is known. Of course, nobody said he couldn't throw the occasional wrench into the spokes. "The Death Of You And Me" is that wrench - for this album at least - wherein Noel seems perfectly content to not be himself today. The result is a jaunty, folk-tinged ditty that soars on gossamer wings, highlighted by finger-picked guitars, horns, and tasty falsetto flourishes from Noel himself.

What's most admirable about Noel circa 2011 is that he knows damn well the world has changed, that only the remnants of a once-thriving music industry remain, and that now is without a doubt the worst time ever to be "starting from scratch". You couldn't blame the guy for choosing to now look back in anger, but, on "(I Wanna Live In A Dream In My) Record Machine" , he chooses to relive those heady days when the turntable was a universe unto itself.

"What A Life" begins with a propulsive drum/piano groove upon which Gallagher builds a slyly hypnotic vocal melody that you'll find yourself singing later, trust me. This is the sort of song lesser artists have built an entire career upon, whereas dear Noel's tossing off winners left and right. It wasn't until I heard this song that I realized that Noel's about halfway through the most ambitious record of his life.

While tracks like "Soldier Boys And Jesus Freaks" and "(Stranded On) The Wrong Beach" rock convincingly, it's when Noel indulges his knack for elegiac mid-tempo ballads like "Stop The Clocks" that he's impossible to ignore.

"A Simple Game Of Genius" rocks a little harder, but is a grand gem nonetheless, even if Noel can't help himself by slipping "kaleidoscope eyes" into the chorus.

The album closes with "The Good Rebel", a rousing rocker recorded loosely and with an obvious devil-may-care swagger. Close your eyes and you can see the credits roll on a mind movie you can't wait to watch again. Just hit "REPEAT" and away you go.

VERDICT: The new Noel album is THE SHIT.

Awesome U2 Tribute In The Latest Issue Of Q Magazine!

If you haven't already grabbed a copy of the latest issue of Q Magazine, you might wanna think about doing so ASAP.

Not only is the iconic UK music mag celebrating its 25th anniversary, it is also celebrating the 20th anniversary of U2's Achtung Baby by enlisting some of the world's leading artists to pay proper tribute to U2 by recording a new version of the album.

Admittedly, Achtung Baby is perhaps the last U2 album worth giving a hoot about and it's sorta sad to realize that U2 have been huffing along on fumes for that long, but getting to hear bands like Garbage, The Killers, and Nine Inch Nails have their way with these tunes is a total joy.

The album includes the likes of Nine Inch Nails, Patti Smith, Depeche Mode, The Killers and Jack White, each tackling a track from the classic record just for this release.

The full track listing for AHK-toong BAY-bi Covered is as follows:

Nine Inch Nails - Zoo Station
U2 (Jacques Lu Cont Mix) - Even Better Than The Real Thing
Damien Rice - One
Patti Smith - Until The End Of The World
Garbage - Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses
Depeche Mode - So Cruel
Snow Patrol - Mysterious Ways
The Fray - Trying To Throw Your Arms Around The World
Gavin Friday - The Fly
The Killers - Ultraviolet (Light My Way)
Glasvegas - Acrobat
Jack White - Love Is Blindness

Our personal favorite track is Jack White's haunting/possessed rendition of "Love Is Blindness".



This issue of Q Magazine is on newsstands now, so go grab one already!

The Shit List: The Top 10 Best Debut Albums of ALL TIME!! [PART ONE]

Pretenders (1980)

With quite a unique battle plan (move from Ohio to the UK, become a journalist for NME, start a band with three crazy Brits, voila!), Chrissie Hynde defied the odds on a number of fronts and took the rock world by storm in 1980 as frontwoman for the Pretenders. Their stunning self-titled debut album was just brash enough to appeal to the post-punks and just slick enough top garner Top 40 radio airplay in the US, where the album went Top 10 and sold over a million copies while "Brass In Pocket" stayed in heavy rotation on radio playlists. Hynde's songs were gems, of course, but they were made all the more potent thanks to the musical roundhouse punch administered by James Honeyman-Scott (guitar), Pete Farndon (bass) and Martin Chambers (drums). This album captures a brief moment in time when the Pretenders were firing on all cylinders and had the world by the proverbial tail. Sadly, recapturing lightning in a bottle would prove impossible and, by the mid-1980's, Farndon and Honeyman-Scott would both be dead of drug-related overdoses.


The Cars (1978)

Many consider this album to be a landmark musical event so fully connected to the '80s, but very few realize that the album actually came out in 1978. This is due, in part, to producer Roy Thomas Baker's sterling production, which still sounds fresh today. Otherwise, why would companies still be licensing tracks from this album in order to capture that hip and bubbly "modern" '80s sound?
Having said this, if you've heard any of the demos the band recorded prior to recording this album, you're fully aware that the songs and arrangements were already fully developed. Baker still deserves much of the credit, though, for being smart enough to stay out of the band's way, by and large.


Sex Pistols / Never Mind The Bollocks (1977)

Looking back, it's amazing how much of a David and Goliath story the Sex Pistols were and how they almost singlehandedly changed the entire musical landscape. Granted, the punk revolution wasn't televised in the US, but, oh, to have been a young kid in England as Msgrs. Rotten, Cook, Jones, and Matlock sneered their way from obscurity to the "Top of The Pops". Those that consider the Pistols a sort of punk-rock Monkees need only take one listen to this album at top volume to realize that this is the real deal. It may not be sophisticated, or some reinvention of the wheel, but it is real reight down to Steve Jones' multi-tracked "wall of sound" guitars. Listen close enough and you can hear the spittle flying from Johnny Rotten's mouth.


Weezer / The Blue Album (1994)

Weezer, like The Cars before them, had their songs down cold. All they needed was a producer who knew enough to stay out of the way while simply capturing the right performances. Enter Ric Ocasek, one-time singer/guitarist for The Cars (who obviously learned a thing or two during the recording of their first album). Rivers' heavy metal tendencies are presented as camp and, in doing so, kids who'd never be caught dead with a Quiet Riot album still get to air-guitar themselves into a lather to the songs on The Blue Album.


The Go-Go's / Beauty & The Beat (1981)

It's actually frightening to consider that this album is 30 years old because it forces me to also realize that my childhood crush, Jane Wiedlin, is just a few years shy of qualifying for her AARP card. Fuck, I think I might just start crying if I don't shake this one off soon. Sure, they'll always be known for "We Got The Beat" and "Our Lips Are Sealed", but the entire album is absolutely chock-full of great songwriting from start to finish. Truth be told, there's no filler to be found on this one, which, unfortunately cannot be said for the band's second album, Vacation. Those who think the Bangles were the better band are out of their freakin' minds.

PART TWO COMING FRIDAY!

Is The New Lou Reed/Metallica Shit Or THE SHIT?

Why is it that most legendary artists who've completely run out of ideas can't just bring themselves to walk away, if for no other reason than to preserve what's left of their legacy?

That's a rhetorical question, of course, as it seems the idea of making an ill-conceived concept album together didn't set off any red flags in either the Lou Reed or Metallica camps.

While one is hard pressed to deny the greatness of such songs as "Walk On The Wild Side" and "Perfect Day", I've always been of the mindset that few have gotten farther on so little actual talent as Lou Reed. Let's face it, over the course of his 40+ year music career, I've yet to hear the guy carry a tune. Having said that, there's something to be said for being lucky and/or in the right place at the right time, as Reed was when he first stumbled into Warhol's circle of star fuckers and hangers on.

Warhol could have taken one look at Reed and his band, Velvet Underground, and banished them with the wave of a pale hand, but instead, he embraced them for reasons known only to him and thereby gave Lou Reed enough hipster cred to last him, well, 'til now.

When I first heard that Reed was cutting an album with Metallica, I, like you, thought it was a joke. When I found out that it was, in fact, for real, I became truly convinced that both Reed and Metallica were out of their mother-loving heads. Of course, both have reached the twilight of their careers and are now forced to rely upon schtick to garner interest from the media and music fans alike. Whereas Santana employs a revolving door of special guests and Rod Stewart continually digs up oldies for yet another installment in his geriatric "American Songbook" series, it is easy to see why Reed and Metallica chose to join forces. Both have nothing to lose and, well, the results can't be any worse than "St. Anger".

Or so we thought.

"Brandenburg Gate" begins with an amateurish acoustic guitar flourish that has "Lou" written all over it, fleshed out with some pretentious spoken wordisms before Metallica's ham-fisted thump totally crashes Lou's poetry slam. At that point, what we hear is more the work of the shitty garage band down the street that practices for years in their garage and never gets any better, not the work of two legendary rock acts.

Yet, like the car crash we can't tear our eyes away from, we find ourselves unable to hit the "OFF" switch, for fear of missing something truly monumental. Not "monumental good", mind you. This is some truly gruesome stuff.

For starters, somebody please give Lars Ulrich a fucking metronome. The guy's kick drum work is all over the place. The thing is, everything else is based off of that, so when the band cranks up the amps and tries to lay waste to our ear holes on "The View", they just sound tipsy and unbalanced. And, tell me I'm wrong, but Lou is starting to sound annoyed.

"Pumping Blood" begins with an orchestral swirl meant to indicate the presence, of class, high art. But all I can see is row upon row of used copies of "Lulu" plugging up the bins at the few remaining record stores left in existence. This isn't high art, it's music to price used copies of "Lulu" to, some hipper-than-thou music store clerk chuckling as they drop the price a little more each time.

By the time we reach "Mistress Dread", the boys are already starting to repeat themselves: orchestral interlude, tension adequately built, and enter Metallica with guns a-blazing. Lou isn't so much straining to be heard as straining to stay awake, mumbling in a manner completely detached from the racket Metallica are creating in the background. Heed my warning, if you listen to the entire song, that is six minutes and forty one seconds that you will never get back. Suddenly, flossing the cat doesn't seem like a bad way to kill an hour.

"Iced Honey" begins with Lou Reed counting to four and Metallica actually sounding like a decent rock band for all of ten seconds. By the one-minute mark, it suddenly dawns on you that Lou Reed's lyrics are really, really fucking awful and that what passes for a chorus is something even the shitty garage band down the street would roll their eyes at.

But damn if we can stop listening. After all, this isn't just a trainwreck, this is a hell-bound convoy of dump trucks careening through a nitroglycerin factory and each song is a mangled Rubik's cube of twisted metal and skin.

Of course, like the director of any good snuff flick, Reed and Metallica save the best for last, fully aware of the fact that delaying gratification as long as possible is the best way to - oh, I don't know - fuck with your audience's head? "Cheat On Me" is literally 11:26 of Lou Reed daring you to chuck this album out the fucking window.

Last we saw of Lou and Metallica, they had ricocheted off the Pucker St. sign about two miles back and were coasting on what's left of their supposed legend.

VERDICT: Shit.

Today In Music, November 1

On November 1, 1980, Bruce Springsteen scores his first #1 album, The River, which features the Top 5 single, "Hungry Heart". Oddly, 1978's Darkness On The Edge Of Town, which was released to much fanfare after the success of Born To Run, managed to peak at #5. That The River, which was a double-album no less, could manage to do what no previous Springsteen album had been able to do spoke to the singer's growing popularity while actively shunning commerciality at every turn. Says Springsteen, "(The River) was a record that was sort of the gateway to a lot of my future writing. It was a record we made after Darkness on the Edge of Town. It was a record made during a recession - hard times in the States. Its title song is a song I wrote for my brother-in-law and sister. My brother-in-law was in the construction industry, lost his job and had to struggle very hard back in the late 70s, like so many people are doing today. It was a record where I first started to tackle men and women and families and marriage. There were certain songs on it that lead to complete records later on: "The River" sorta went to the writing on Nebraska, "Stolen Car" went to the writing on Tunnel of Love. Originally it was a single record. I handed it in with just one record and I took it back because I didn't feel it was big enough."

On this day in music, 2000, UK boy-band-singer-turned-solo-star Robbie Williams offered to donate bone marrow in an attempt to save the life of a dying fan, Johanna MacVicar, who was suffering from leukemia. Williams not only pledged to donate marrow but urged his fans, and any healthy male donors across the UK, to do the same. Sadly, MacVicar passed away from the disease in 2005.

BORN ON THIS DAY:

The King of Schlock Pop, David Foster, born 1949. He has produced hit albums and singles for the likes of Chicago, The Tubes, Michael Bublé, Clay Aiken, Céline Dion, Barbra Streisand, Kenny Rogers, Faith Hill, The Corrs, George Harrison, Earth, Wind & Fire, Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, Brandy, Richard Marx, Mariah Carey, Destiny's Child, Olivia Newton-John, and many more.

Country singer Lyle Lovett, born 1957.

The Alarm bassist Eddie MacDonald, born 1959.

Red Hot Chili Peppers singer Anthony Kiedis, born 1962.