Slow News Day: Bob Dylan Plays Grand Piano On Tour Opener At Hop Farm Festival

[Uhh, I'm pretty sure that's not a grand piano, and why is Charlie Sexton looking at his finger so intently? He has played guitar before, right?]

First off, does anyone realize that "Hop Farm Festival" is only one letter away from being "Hog Farm Festival"? Just wondering.

So, I hit the front page of Rolling Stone's website because I'd rather read that self-important drivel ("We're Rolling Stone so when we write about Miley Cyrus, it's cool!") than work at the moment and I see right there on the front page, in big bold letters "Bob Dylan Shocks Fans By Playing Grand Piano". I mean, the headline would lead you to believe that fans ran screaming from the venue at the sight of Dylan behind a piano.

What's so remarkable about Dylan playing a grand piano?

Did he then spit blood and fire, sacrifice a baby lamb to the piano Gods? Or did he simply tinkle at the ivories out of complete fucking boredom from being a tireless road hog all these years. Seriously, Bob Dylan is constantly touring. His tour schedule puts Chuck Berry's to shame and Chuck Berry's tour schedule would kill a younger band. They'd be dead before they ever get to see, much less smoke any legal pot in Amsterdam.

You'd think Dylan needed the money or something. Did he not write a couple songs way back when that managed to do okay on the charts? And then the Byrds came along and covered them. Did those royalty checks not go to him?

Returning to my original point, which you've probably forgotten by now, I don't think there is any artist whose mere switching of an instrument onstage makes worldwide news. I guess when you show up at the Newport Jazz Festival and decide to "go electric" without telling anybody, anything other big changes you make from that point on will be a big fucking deal to people. Here's the thing, though...I can'r find one fucking photo of Bob Dylan actually playing piano at the freaking Hog Farm, sorry, Hop Farm Festival. Granted, all I did was type "dylan hop farm" into Google Images, but still, I should have been bombarded with multiple photos of Dylan playing piano. Unless, of course, Dylan onyl said he played piano. Maybe he went into a tent in the middle of the stage, completely hidden from view and declared in a very Dylanesque voice, "I will now play the grand piano." This would then cue the sound guy to press "play" on some tape machine, filling the arena with grand piano that Bob Dylan may or may not actually be playing. Great, now you can ad this to the list of shit that keeps me up nights..."do UFO's actually exist?", "was John F Kennedy killed by the mob?", "did we really walk on the moon?", and now "did Bob Dylan really play grand piano at Hop Farm?"

Superior St. Rehearsal Facility

No comments:

Post a Comment