The Shit List: Top 10 Rock Lists We'd Most Like To See!

1. Ten Sexiest Women In Rock & Roll

This one's a no-brainer, right?  Debbie Harry (above), Joan Jett, one of the Go-Go's. maybe a Bangle (Susannah Hoffs would be our vote).  Hmm, Norah Jones?  Bjork?  Okay, see, it's already getting kinda difficult.  Plus, you almost have to throw Zooey Deschanel in there, which goes against everything you stand for, but your lowly blog needs the clicks.  Sigh.

2. Ten Bands With The Most Personnel Changes

I gotta think Yes would take the top spot.  Leave it to the British to passive-aggressively stab each other in the back over tea.  After that, it gets kinda murky.  I mean, there's Molly Hatchet, who, at one point, were touring with precisely ZERO original members.  Thankfully, founding guitarist (one of them, at least) Dave Hlubek returned in 2005 to lend some credibility.

3. Ten Sexiest Men In Rock & Roll (AKA The Ten Dudes We Kinda Wish We Looked Like)

Not that we're gay or anything, but every so often you see a dude who just has that fucking look that says, "I am rock & roll".  I don't mean the Butch Walker "maybe if I get just one more tattoo" look, or the platonic grad student you eventually fall for that is Benjamin Gibbard.  I'm talking Johnny Thunders, Keith Richards circa 1973, Marc Bolan, Paul McCartney pre-Linda (or, for that matter, Lennon pre-Yoko).  Johnny Ramone.  Steve Jones.  Robin Zander.  After that, it gets kinda obligatory.

4. Ten Best Covers Of Beatles Songs 

Soooo many folks have covered the music of the Fab Four.  Do you name just the ones you can think of right now or throw yourself headlong into researching as many songs as you can (i.e, searching Wikipedia)?  You're lazy, remember.  You do neither, but reserve the right to brag endlessly at parties about working on just such a list just in case you happen to attend the one party attended by folks who actually give a flying fuck,

It's a given that Joe Cocker's "With A Little Help From My Friends" will be on the list, if not perched at the very top it .

5. Ten Coolest Bands Who Have Yet To Reform Even Once Since Breaking Up

Man, I was all prepared to put Fall Out Boy on this list, but they had to go and get back together earlier this year.  Just kidding.  One of my all-time faves, The Three O'Clock have long been the poster boys for taking their ball and going home and never ever coming back, until it was announced last month that they would, indeed, be coming back for an appearance at Coachella and a couple other Cali shows.  The list gets a little shorter all the time, which makes compiling such a list more difficult as time goes by.

6. Ten Best Dead Rock Stars

Ignoring the legendary "27 Club" (Joplin, Hendrix, Cobain, Morrison, et al), we'd fill our list with Lennon, Joe Strummer, Davy Jones (hey, come on, the guy's a legend), three of the original Ramones (do they count as one?), Keith Moon.  Uh...we must be forgetting someone.  Argh!  See, this is why we never finish this list

7. Ten Songs Where The Saxophone Or Harmonica Part Is Not TOTALLY Annoying

We can never bring ourselves to compile such a list because actually listening to all the tunes we can think of with sax or harmonica in them would drive us straight over the edge.  Sorry, but the mostly shrill tonal qualities of both instruments are like nails on a chalk board to our ears.

8. Ten Bands Who Actually Survived The Departure Of A Legendary Lead Singer

Bon Scott's death could have also been the death of AC/DC but the band was back in the studio with another singer within weeks recording the album Back In Black.  David Lee Roth doing show tunes in Vegas could have been the death knell for Van Halen if not for the arrival of Sammy "I Can't Drive 55" Hagar.  Survivor went on to do pretty well after parting ways with the guy who sung on "Eye Of The Tiger (Dave Pickler of the legendary Real Men Of Genius radio and TV commercials).  Uh, hmm, that's three.  Dang, this one's hard.

9. Ten Bands Who Owe Their Careers To Absolute Flukes

Every band catches a few breaks.  Some breaks are bigger than others, though.  Other bands...bands that truly deserve huge success break up after years of hard work, but never get the break they needed.

Those who got some nice breaks:

Cheap Trick's US breakthrough came via a Japan-only live album that a couple US radio stations started playing, leading to such an overwhelming public response that the group's US label finally decided to release the album in the band's home country.

Or how about a Las Vegas DJ playing a song by a little-known Canadian band and, in doing so, helping the band Sheriff score a #1 hit with "When I'm With You seven years after its initial release (and long after the band had broken up).  A similar thing happened to Tommy Jam,es & The Shondells.  When "Hanky Panky" began exploding at radio after an enterprising east coast DJ began playing the song, James had to put together an entirely new batch of Shondells to tour in support of his hit single.  After that, though, hmmm.

Diane Warren

10. Ten Signs Your Favorite Band Is Fucked

The first one of the top of my head would be "The minute you even consider recording a Diane Warren song".  I'm looking at you Aerosmith, and Cheap Trick...and The Cult.  You too Joan Jett & The Blackhearts.  Ugh, this list is already too depressing.