1. Your guitar player bears a striking resemblance to one of the Olsen twins and insists on playing a guitar with no strings on it.
2. When you call your drummer to schedule a rehearsal, he hangs up on you.
3. The only way you can get your CD into stores is if you take one in and leave it there.
4. Your only groupie is deaf.
5. The only way an audience would ever chant your band's name is if you changed it to "You Guys Suck".
6. Your band received over $25,000 in Kickstarter donations to NOT make a new album.
7. Your name is Chad Kroeger.
8. The last club that booked your band went out of business. During your performance.
9. The audience gives you a standing ovation when you announce "This is our last song."
10. When the manager at Guitar Center says "Your money's no good here", what he really means is that your money is literally no good here.