Open Letter To Kanye West!

Dear Kanye,

It isn't enough that you've personally devalued the meaning of the term "genius", or that you've made more money in the last five minutes than most true musical geniuses will likely see in their lifetimes, or that you've willingly aligned yourself with the same toxic klan of women responsible for Bruce Jenner's descent into madness, now you've got to go and ruin Beck's evening?

You don't think maybe the guy is only ever gonna get the one shot at Album Of The Year and would have liked to have been able to look back upon that moment ten or twenty years from now and not see your twitchy scowl staring back at him?

Lucky for you Norah Jones didn't put out a record last year or you'd have been spitting up teeth, bro.

As for your own supposed musical genius, where does it go in a blackout or when your multi-million-dollar high-tech video screen and f/x rig get dinged in-transit?  I'm asking only because I remember the time you actually cancelled a concert when your video screen broke.  Something tells me if that had happened to - oh, I dunno - ANYBODY ELSE, the show would have gone on.

In regard to your flow, bro, I hate to be the one to tell you this - wait, no, I don't - but the gals in Oaktown's 3-5-7 had more flow than you and, in a rap to the death, I'll take the least talented guy in N.W.A. over you any day of the week.

Musically speaking, you've yet to create a single tune as musically adventurous as Kwame's "The Rhythm" or De La Soul's "Me, Myself and I".  If either of those tunes hit the street this week with your name on 'em, people's minds would be BLOWN!

And damn it all if Tricky hasn't been making music for the past twenty years that is consistently twenty years ahead of yours to an audience of CRICKETS while your every burrito fart is hailed as the Second Coming.  Thing is, he's not just making music for people who lack the brain cells to appreciate it, either.  He's building rockets to Mars while you're basically just blowing hot air into a paper bag and popping it.

Or is that the point and I just missed the memo announcing Bizzaro-world Rules in full effect?

I mean, the very premise of creating an entire cottage industry for people who don't actually like music...IS FUCKING GENIUS.

This burgeoning demographic does seem to have money to burn, so why not give them a little something to sing along to at sporting events, or da club.  You're creating the perfect soundtrack for enterprising playas to woo low-hanging fruit with the latest in blinged-out officially-licensed sports attire.

If you want a trophy, maybe ESPN can give you one.

Superior St. Rehearsal Facility


  1. "I mean, the very premise of creating an entire cottage industry for people who don't actually like music...IS FUCKING GENIUS."

    Nice! Kanye can go away. He is not a musician. For him to have called himself a fucking musician on the Grammys shows how far popular music culture has declined. Kanye, JayZ and Beyonce can fuck off. They are not American music. They are posers of the nth degree who make no creative art nor do they play instruments of musicality. They sit back and remix the talents and fruits of artists who have come before them. They are nothing more than copy and paste artists who have learned how to make big money and trick the American public into buying in to their pacifying and hypnotic beats and rhythms. It's all bullshit. It is NOT music, it should be used for background ambiance in movies and played over expressions of art, not as songs themselves. They are not songs, they are, "cuts" and "samples". You can not satisfy yourself and remain healthy on cuts and samples in life, and music plays over as an allegory to life. That is why the Hip Hop industry has become bullshit these days. Groups like the Beastie Boys, Run DMC, Digital Underground, Public Enemy, NWA, ICE T, those guys are OG originals in the industry, but their followers have sold out and been sold out to their selfishness and their lust for fame and fortune and have lost any credibility to be able to send any sort of message through their music.

  2. The Kanye piece is oh-so-right-on-the-money.