The Foo Fighters' Big Announcement, What Could It Be? We Take 10 Wild Stabs In The Dark!

Psst, there's reportedly a big announcement coming from the Foo Fighters camp. Could it be that they ran out of ideas three albums ago and are just tired of the endless charade? No, probably not, but that didn't stop us from rubbing our psychic brain cells together and coming up with ten possible announcements.

1. "Hi, first and foremost, we're an American Band. However, if Trump wins, we're a fucking Canadian band."

2. "As of the Oscar telecast, Dave has literally run out of awesome ways to promote himself as the everyman rocker we would all love to have a beer with, so if anybody has any ideas."

3. "Get ready for Season Two of HBO's Sonic Highways, where each week, we get lost and ask for directions."


4. "Dave isn't breaking up the band, just laying a few guys off 'til people put their fucking phones away.

5. "Taylor Hawkins has been traded to Smashing Pumpkins for Jimmy Chamberlain and a player to be named later."

6. "Dave will be leaving the band to throw his hat in the Presidential ring just as soon as he decides on a platform - and a hat."


7. "Ladies and gentlemen, Dave Grohl has gone missing. Perhaps coincidentally, a Canadian all-girl Iron Maiden tribute band called Run To These Hills made their live debut with a new singer calling herself Courtney Killedkurt, who, witnesses claim, bore a striking resemblance to our beloved Dave. if you have any information short of making us go to Canada, please contact our management immediately at 1-900-WHERES-DAVE."


8. Dave once promised that if David & David ever got back together and made a second album, he would either break up the band or slow dance with Rosie O'Donnell to the strains of Billy Vera's 'At This Moment'."

9. "David Bowie has offered Foo Fighters the opening slot on his first tour of Heaven. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to perform where few living bands have. In truth, no living bands have ever played in heaven, which is why we, you know, have to be dead. While no decision has yet been made, we are giving it serious consideration. In the meantime, we are promoting our new alliance with Target by wearing these lovely matching shirts with targets on them to local gun ranges across the country."

10. Just kidding, but we will be making an album without Dave. Hey, where is everybody going?

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