Fast Times (1986, 7 episodes)
What happens when you pin your network's hopes and dreams on America accepting Dean Cameron as Jeff Spicoli? We'll give you seven guesses, which is the same number of episodes that aired before CBS execs yanked this turd off the air.
As unwatchable as this dreck is, its actually stunning that not only did Ray Walston return for a paycheck, but the original film's director Amy Heckerling was heavily involved in the series, going so far as to direct three of the seven episodes that aired.
Cast-wise, though, this TV series has one thing in common with the film: most major cast members went on to have decent careers; most notably, Patrick Dempsey and Courtney Thorne-Smith.
Ferris Bueller (1990-1991, 13 episodes)
Ever wonder what Jennifer Aniston did before "Friends"? Wonder no more. She was playing sister to faux-Ferris Bueller on this short-lived NBC sitcom.
In addition to having precisely zero cast members from the original film, the series was based in Santa Monica, not Chicago. In the show's first episode, "real-life" Ferris (Charlie Schlatter) expresses disdain at being portrayed on film by Matthew Broderick.
Baby Talk (1991-1992, 35 episodes)
Sadly, the same Amy Heckerling who was suspiciously on-board with the TV adaptation of Fast Times is also at-the-wheel of this dud, creating original characters that, you know, completely deviate from the original film, at which point, they dropped the "Look Who's Talking" title in favor of "Baby Talk"
If the names Tony Danza, Scott Baio, Julia Duffy and George Clooney at his "aw shucks" goofiest set your heart aflutter, you'll wanna check this one out.
Working Girl (1990, 8 episodes)
Instead of Melanie Griffith as the spunky administrative assistant who works her way up to junior executive, TV viewers got Sandra Bullock trading barbs with uptight boss Nana Visitor.
Three long years after this series bit the dust, Visitor would land that sweet "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine" gig. A year later, Bullock would be driving a bus.
Parenthood (1990, 12 episodes)
If the '90s don't already have enough to live down with the Cosby sweaters and that whole grunge thing, it was also the decade where a major TV network attempted to build an entire show around Ed Begley Jr. in a role Steve Martin had made globally famous.
Has there ever been a time when people who were expecting Steve Martin got Ed Begley Jr. instead and were OK with it? The safe money is on "Hell no", especially if you ever remember catching wind of this overly sentimental turd sandwich before it was unceremoniously wiped from the airwaves.
Baby Boom (1988-1989, 8 episodes)
Have you ever wondered what Joy Behar did before she became the voice of womanly empowerment on 'The View'? No? Okay, did you ever wonder what happened to Kate Jackson after Charlie's Angels? No? Damn, tough crowd.
Did we mention "Curb Your Enthusiasm"'s Susie Essman was also involved?
Dirty Dancing (1988, 11 episodes)
The above clip is the only proof we can find that this show actually existed. How bad was it? Bad enough to star Maclean Stephenson post-M*A*S*H*. The show also starred Shaun Cassidy's brother, Patrick, and Melora Hardin (pre, pre, pre-The Office).
Bagdad Cafe (1990-1991, 15 episodes)
In Hollywood, there's "loosely based" and then there's so "loosely based" that folks just stop and ask "Why are we watching this?" Such was the case for this Whoopi Goldberg-Jean Stapleton vehicle that lasted fourteen episodes longer than it should have. Let's see, that's two members of "The View" to make an appearance on this list.
Uncle Buck (1990, 16 episodes, and again in 2016!)
I remember reading an article at the time this TV show was being hyped by CBS where an excutive rationalized that, sure, the audience is probably disappointed during that first episode when they see John Candy's beloved character played by Kevin Meaney and no sign of Macauley Culkin anywhere.
It was the first time I had noticed a CBS show that had been produced by NBC/Universal. At the time, I thought it was a bit like Chevy buying engines from Ford, but I guess that's just the way it goes in Hollywood. Still, if you gotta wonder why NBC/Universal Television couldn't sell this show to, you know, their own network, all you gotta do is watch a few minutes of the above episode. Good luck. We tapped out at the :30 mark.
As for the 2016 ABC re-boot, Mike Epps, what were you thinking? Oh right, a paycheck is better than no paycheck. Even so, when the TV show strays thiiiiiiis far from the original, what is to be gained by using a lame movie-tie-in and shining additional scrutiny on an obvious turd?
Eddie Dodd (1991, 7 episodes)
If the name "Eddie Dodd" doesn't ring a bell, perhaps the film's name - "True Believer" - will. Still nothing? Okay, remember when James Woods went full pony-tail? Okay, well, somebody got the bright idea to turn that movie into a TV show and instead of James Woods, they gave us Treat Williams.
Of course, there was one example where the TV show actually managed to live up to the movie...
Young Indiana Jones (1992-1996, 26 episodes)
If there was a transition from the silver screen to the boob tube more ambitious than this series based on George Lucas's insanely popular Indiana Jones film franchise, we're all ears. For starters, George Lucas was directly involved in the creation of the series, sketching out 70 episodes in astonishing detail.
Sadly, only about half of those episodes were ever produced before the staggering costs of shooting each episode on one exotic, often treacherous, location after another forced Lucas to pull the plug.