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Song Of The Day: Elvis Presley 'Are You Lonesome Tonight? (The Famous Laughing Version)'!


You find yourself in the same used record store close to your apartment, where you spend countless hours scouring the bins for untapped gems to add to your vast collection of black plastic. You trudge the two blocks in a blizzard that has brought the city to its knees, worrying all the way which lonely hipster behind the counter will be providing the day's musical soundtrack.

You kick the snow from your moon boots before entering and immediately sigh:

"Oh, it Jefferson. What a pompous twat. Thankfully, he likes Kraftwerk as much as I do."

You park yourself in front of "A Misc." and settle in for some quality German engineering when out of nowhere you hear what sounds like a live Elvis record.



Oh, it's "Are You Lonesome Tonight?", you remark to yourself as you transition to "C Misc." and immediately begin scanning the back of a Chilliwack album to see if it happens to include "My Girl (Gone, Gone, Gone)".

Before you can do so, though. you hear Elvis start laughing his ass off right in the middle of one of his most romantic songs ever.

If the internet had been around, you'd have Googled the crap out of that the minute your got back to your studio apartment, but, as it stood, you were now forced to engage Jefferson and his oddly shiny mustache in conversation.


"What's that from?" you ask, unable to break your stare from "the 'stache".

"Oh, it's a mixtape a friend of mine in England made for me," the lips beneath the 'stache reply.

"Any idea what album it might be on?" you ask the 'stache.

"No, but it must be something my friend taped off the radio in the UK because the internet won't make music free for everybody for another ten years or so," replies the shiniest, most well-behaved 'stache you've ever seen.

"Inter-what?" you ask before catching yourself. "Hey, can I touch that?"

"Touch what?" he asks.

"Oh," you exclaim, thinking on your feet, "I mean, can I see the tape case?"

"Sure, I guess", he replies.

By the time he returns with the handwritten J-card, the mustache is mysteriously gone.

You scream "Heretic!" and run out of the store like a mental patient released into the wild well before their time. You watch a building burn out of control because the fire trucks are unable to reach it due to the snow and wonder if any of it is real.

Once back to your apartment, you crawl back under the covers until spring,

For years, though, you remain haunted by the experience.

Had any of it actually happened or had you dreamed the whole thing?

Thanks to the mysterious "internet" that Jefferson had mentioned back in 1990, you finally see that the song was released in the UK as the Live In Vegas CD single right around the time you were being hyp-mo-tized by Jefferson's gleaming 'stache.

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