And While We're At It, Brits...Kylie Minogue?! WTF!

Kylie Minogue...or Leif Garrett?

Earlier today, yours truly bitched to a busy God about how Britney Spears got the "career" while the far more talented (and sexy, Google for yourself) Debbie Gibson has to audition for "theatrical" roles better suited to, say, Britney Spears.

If there was a God at all, Brit would be doing two shows a night in Branson, as a magicians's assistant. Watch it, those knives are sharp, now!

Thing is, there's someone even worse who has somehow forged a four-decade career as a UK hitmaker despite having less talent than the former Mrs. Federline.

Round 2: Kylie Minogue...or Leif Garrett?

Yes, I am talking about the one, the only Kylie Minogue,

Of course, what does one expect from the country that gave us Simon Cowell, for fuck's sake?

By comparison, how is it Tracy Ullman's discography is only one album long and still more musically satisfying than Kylie's catalog, which runs FOURTEEN albums deep?

Round 3: Kylie Minogue...or Leif Garrett?

For starters, the word "discography" should never follow the words "Kylie Minogue", yet here we are celebrating thirty years of Kylie!

Did I mention Minogue has had 34 Top 10 UK singles?

Those are Stones and Beatles numbers, my friend. Do you smell something fishy? Nah, me neither.

Perfectly normal.