Here's A New Year's Resolution: Stop Stealing Music!

It literally boggles my mind how easily people steal music.

Just the other day, whilst subjecting myself to the toxic cesspool of attention-starved stupidity that is Twitter, I saw a music fan tweet at Aimee Mann to complain that one of her albums wasn't on Spotify.

To her credit, the critically-acclaimed singer-songwriter did not respond by telling the person they could always BUY THE ALBUM, but she should have. Maybe she will when she can no longer afford her mortgage or medical treatment.

That it takes such instances to finally make artists realize the careless folly of the current music industry paradigm is sad, but that the industry itself cares so little for the artists that are its lifeblood is criminal in its shortsightedness.

How far does the industry think it will get by giving away its product? Sure, each major label was enticed into doing so by streaming services offering them a percentage of ownership, but there aren't enough advertisers in the world to make that a profitable alternative to, you know...SELLING MUSIC.

I mean, who the FUCK thought that one up? Oh right, one of the guys from Napster. The same guy who hacked into a Fortune 500 company at the age of 16, who also went on to be President of Facebook and who is now inexplicably a billionaire instead of a convicted criminal.

Was a time when every record label on the planet wanted his head on a platter. Now these same guys, who should know better, are bending over backwards to do a deal with him and his pals at Spotify.

Ah, but most of these label guys are already trust fund babies who play by different rules than the rest of us anyway.

Take the guy who started Interscope Records, Ted Fields.

Not only is Mr. Fields the heir to the Marshall Field family fortune, he's also one of California's biggest tax delinquents, owing the state over $20 million in back taxes.

Who the fuck gets away with owing the state, much less the IRS, that much money when you or I get audited to death for trying to write off a business lunch?

So, yes, it comes as no surprise that Fields and others in the music industry are perfectly OK with not paying artists as well.

Sadly, millennials, who have never known a time when folks paid for music, are starting their own bands and playing right into the hands of an industry that has no use for cash registers.

What's even more hilarious is watching these same mental giants PAY distributors for the privilege of said distributor uploading their music to all the major streaming services so that it can be streamed FOR FREE.

Of course, when you attempt to take one of these geniuses aside and explain to them that paying someone to help them give away their art is akin to Starbucks paying people to drink their coffee, the look in their eyes is as blank as their bank account balance.

If that was, indeed, a pathway to profitability, trust me, Starbucks would be doing it. 

That they aren't doing so merely confirms what anyone with any real-life business experience...like running a lemonade stand as a child...knows first-hand: Giving your shit away is no way to run a business.

Ah, but we artists are a dumb bunch when it comes to business. Just ask anyone who's still accepting "exposure" gigs with no pay.

Of course, even in the easy-to-Google-this-shit 21st Century, there are still musicians who think sending a copy of your music to yourself through the mail equates copyrighting your music. Making matters worse, these same artists upload their music to streaming services without ever thinking to publish their songs first.

This practice of willful idiocy is going to have to stop if artists expect to ever be paid for their artistry.

So, why IS the music industry so hell-bent on giving music away for free?

Don't they miss the record sales?

Yes, they do, but they don't miss paying artists and, at the end of the day, that's the big reward for them. They will quite literally go out of business before they pay artists.

Their disdain for true artists - ones who create their own art rather than hiring the latest batch of industry-approved song doctors - is further confirmed by the top-tier artists they promote, who have little to no measurable talent and are little more than strippers and bouncers who lip-sync.

These folks should be ashamed to their core for even thinking they belong on a stage, yet there they are fronting a gaggle of backing dancers at some event run by a radio network that is billions in the hole before accepting their Grammy award for Best Use of Autotune.

Joni Mitchell never had to show the world her tits, yet not a week goes by that Cardi B's aren't on full display.

But ask yourself: "Does Cardi B care about getting paid for her music?"

Before answering that question, I suggest reading the credits for her debut album, Invasion Of Privacy. Thankfully, you don't have to BUY THE ALBUM to do so.

Those who do will notice that there were over 70 co-writers and 38 producers on said album, so, no, Cardi B ain't gonna be seeing any real money from her music. Luckily, she gets paid for her appearances and merch.

Funny how you still have to pay for merch, though, isn't it?

What does it say about the millennial mindset that kids won't pay for music, but they will happily pay for concert tickets to watch a large video screen of Cardi B faking a performance and then stop to buy a t-shirt on their way out of the arena?

It sure as hell says these kids could just as easily pay for music, too, but the industry has told them in no uncertain terms, "Do not give us any money because then we'd have to share that with the artist."

The sick thing is we artists go along with it.

We pay thousands for the latest synths, samplers, and drum machines, spend hundreds on the latest edition of Ableton, spend countless hours writing, rehearsing, recording, mixing, and mastering our creative endeavor and then, at the last second, give it away because, hey, everybody else is doing it.

All this accomplishes at the end of the day is to make we artists the most qualified candidates on earth for a job down at the local mall food court handing out free samples of Kung Pao Chicken.

But let's not fool ourselves. Panda Express does so in hopes of enticing customers into BUYING Kung Pao Chicken. With actual money. Thing is, if you could suddenly stream Kung Pao Chicken anytime you wanted, you'd never pay for it again, would you?

I would because, at the end of the day, "streaming" is just two letters removed from "stealing".