As kids, most of the bands we grew up listening to were kids themselves, barely out of their teens.
For some reason, though, my younger self gravitated to two guys: Andy Summers of The Police, who was 37 when he joined that band, and Ric Ocasek, who kissed his twenties goodbye long before the Cars even existed.
By then, I knew that I, too, wanted to be a rock musician so maybe I took solace in the fact that those guys kept chasing the dream long after the pressures of adulthood forced many a would-be superstar to drop whatever musical aspirations they had and settle down.
Sometimes I wonder how different the rock charts may have been had those voices not been so successful at thwarting the rock & roll dreams of those who'd gotten "too old" by someone else's ridiculous guidelines.
Then, of course, as an adult chasing the dream in L.A., I got to witness A&R folks stand dumbfounded as one band after another tore them another asshole, only to hear these cretins gathered in the bar after the show muttering "Yeah, they're GREAT! But they're too old to sign."
In one case, overhearing yet another A&R douche say these words in the VIP room of the legendary Troubadour, I remarked, "Then why are you here, asshole?"
Before he could turn to see who dared question his smugness, I continued:
"Why go to the trouble of leaving your safe little bubble to venture down here to see a band you had no intention of signing? Is it because you derive sick pleasure from toying with the hopes and dreams of guys who KNOW the clock is ticking? Do you not think that they're aware of the fact that they're older than New Kids On The Block or Hanson? Do you not REALIZE how much chatter they hear from everyone - girlfriends, parents, friends from high school - about how it might be time to hang it up?
"Do you not think that they REALIZE that even the dip shits they went to school with now have great jobs, families, nice houses in the valley while they're crashing on yet another girlfriend's couch?
"These guys have heard the voices for years, felt the pressure mount, and still somehow wake up every day and find the will to keep chasing a dream that remains elusive only because of assholes like you."
If this had been a movie, Ric Ocasek would have emerged from the shadows and done one of those slow hand claps as the room falls silent, but, on this night, everybody just looked at me like I was the asshole.
A few minutes later, though, one of the guys in the band we had all just seen walked over and shook my hand.
"Wanna be our manager?" he quipped.
I wish I could tell you that the band that had blown the roof off the Troub wound up getting signed that night, but they didn't. I wish I could say that the industry finally rejected age-ism and began signing acts based solely on their talent and chart potential, but they didn't. In that sense, the industry got exactly what had been coming to it for a long time.
But, thankfully, in its absence, anybody can do anything they want now. Age means nothing. If you're 50, start a fucking band. If your 40, start writing pop songs. If you're 30, I dunno, maybe wait a few years for your genius to develop.
After all, what's the fucking rush?
Looking back upon the career of Mr. Ocasek and the Cars, all one has to do is listen to that first Cars album to know what absolute perfection sounds like, If he'd rushed it, chosen different players at a different time, or written songs he hadn't lived yet, it wouldn't have been the absolute masterpiece that it was and chances are that none of us would be mourning his passing the way we are today.