Roxette To Headline Pitchfork Music Festival?? Tix Go On Sale Friday!

As the only Chicago hipster mag with their own music festival, Pitchfork continues to be a guiding force in the "we know what you like more than you do" sweepstakes. Thus, when it was announced that tickets for the 2011 Pitchfork Music Festival, to be held July 13, 14, and 15 in Union Park, go on sale this Friday, we at The Shit did enjoy a bit of a chuckle over the fact that the fine folks at Pitchfork could be so bold as to sell tickets to a three-day music event without actually announcing the line-up.

I mean, that's pretty ballsy, right?

Naturally, demand for tickets will be high. After all, every hipster within a three-state radius, if not farther, will be compelled to attend, if for no other reason than to not have to explain to his co-workers at the organic food store why he is unable to attend "the" event of the summer. Let's face it, saying you're too cool for the room just ain't gonna cut it.

But, seriously, who buys tickets to a music festival without knowing what bands will be playing? Pitchfork could sell every last remaining ticket on Friday, then, on Saturday, announce that the festival line-up will consist entirely of Roxette tribute bands from all around the world, with a performance on the festival's final night by Roxette themselves!

Naturally, the hipster brigade would merely take this in stride, reflexively adopting Roxette as the latest legacy band whose recorded output is suddenly heralded as sheer genius on par with Lou Reed, Radiohead, and Jeff Tweedy. Vintage hot pink Roxette tour shirts from the band's 1988 "Look Sharp" tour would flood into Union Park to the sounds of a Bulgarian tribute band Chickidjya butchering "It Must Have Been Love".

Man, I hope Union Park has a bike rack.

Superior St. Rehearsal Facility

1 comment:

  1. I don't think so, Roxette has already plans to play live on 14.7 in Switzerland and 16.7 in Finland, so I'm afraid they can't be in the US for the time being.