Hump Day Playlist: Dogs And Cats

I can't be the only who thinks dogs are like boys and cats are like women, can I?

Come on, think about it, dogs are gregarious and physical - "Did somebody say fetch?!" - tail wagging wildly, happy as hell, throwing their whole being into every situation with absolutely no hesitation or pretense, humping everything in sight.

Cats, meanwhile, sit on the sidelines grooming themselves, gazing down their pretty little noses at the world.  Judging by the sheer number of cats on this planet, they're obviously humping everything in sight, too, but they're oh so discreet about it.  Still, in a cat world, it's "Fool me once and I will shit on your pillow" with a dash of Queen-size diva thrown in for good measure.  Hey, I'm not judging.  I mean, if I had tits, I'd be insufferable, too.

Is it any wonder that dogs and cats are constantly mixing it up?  I dunno if they qualify as "natural enemies", but they sure do seem to have a dysfunctional alliance of sorts.  We're polar opposites in almost every way and what little common ground we have could disappear at any given moment in a flurry of teeth and hair.

Beyonce - Kitty Kat

OH.  MY. GOD.  Is there a better example of a she-cat as Beyonce?  Seriously, this whole song is Beyonce singing to her vagina, telling it "Let's go little kitty kat, quite frankly, no more givin' it I'm not feelin' it."
Even when she's being played for a sap by some dawg, she never lets down her guard, symbolizing the goddess complex of the feline species.  I love the idea that Beyonce would ever waste a second of worry over a man not showing up when she holds the ultimate key to the kingdom.  Mmm-hmm.

Iggy and The Stooges - I Wanna Be Your Dog

You had to know this one was coming. What song better encapsulates the ironies of being a dog (the animal) and a dog (the human version), and how cats have us wrapped around their pretty tails.  There's that damn word again..."pretty"...cats are pretty.  The bad ones know it, too, just like some ladies we may know.  Iggy, though, is all about exploring that paradox, imprisoned by his own carnal urges, he knows hooking up with this kitty will be like walking into a buzz saw, but for a split second, it will be totally worth it.

Stray Cats - Stray Cat Strut

I know, I know, you saw this one coming down the turnpike, too.  For crying out loud, how many decent songs are there about cats.  Not as easy as I thought there would be when I began compiling today's playlist.

While Setzer sings from the view of a "ladies cat" on the make, at least he illustrates the dominance that cats exert over the world.  Plus, who cana resist singing along to the line "I got cat class and I got cat style." when it passes by?  I contend that it simply cannot be done.

Led Zeppelin - Black Dog

This whole song explores that inner dialogue that dogs have.  They strut through the neighborhood like they own the world, a "pritty kitty" turns their head and they prclaim their sexual dominance over said kitty, only to have their ass handed to them/  The once proud beast is reduced to a  slobbering, gelatinous idiot.  But they're a quick study and soon regain their senses during a recent "licking of the wounds".  What an iconic jam this is.

Janet Jackson - Black Cat

For crying out loud, at the beginning of this clip, Janet Jackson herself transforms from a wild black cat into, wooosh, Janet Jackson and proves my point perfectly.  Women are cats.  Notice how we've all thought of a "pussy" reference but left it at that?  I just wanted to let you all know that I'm onto you.

Just taking a tongue-in-cheek stab in the dark, but this song should be subtitled "Janet Jackson discovers her vagina".  The video shows her prancing around, embracing the power her nether region weidls over an entire stadium of people.  "I could get used to this" she must be cooing inside as she looks right through us.

The Cult - Peace Dog

This tune is from Electric, the album where The Cult completed their transformation from spiritual goth rockers into a full-on metal band.  If you've heard the song as many times as I have and stsill can't figure out what Ian astbury is singing about, allow me to shed some light:
"Peace is a dirty word/She used to be our painted bird/And war, she's a whore, don't you know we love her more and more" may seem tossed off, but it's obvious to me at least that he's singing about cats/chicks whose addiction to drama comes at the expense of others.  He knows this and yet he offers himself up to them as a humble sacrifice for the greater good.  Wow, this Ian Astbury bloke is one deep motherfucker.