Our Thoughts On The "Paul Simon & Sting: On Stage Together" Tour!

Paul Simon and Sting have announced a joint North American tour set to begin on February 8th.  At present, the duration of the tour is a mere eighteen dates, but summer dates are already being discussed with prospective promoters.

Naturally, we couldn't wait to give you our thoughts on the situation:

1. Could they have come up with a more boring name for the tour than "Paul Simon And Sting: On Stage Together"?  Probably not.  Sadly, "boring" is the one word most men would attach to the idea of seeing Sting perform his solo material.  As for "the ladies", as long as the former Gordon Sumner promises to wear a tight t-shirt for the fduration of the show, they could care less what the tour is called.  Both men and woman agree, however, that any lute sightings will be an immediate deal breaker.

2. Can you imagine how much behind-the-scene wrangling it must have taken to determine whose name appeared first in the title of the tour?  If history is any indication, it more than likely came very close to breaking up the duo before they ever hit the stage together.

3. It must be a humbling realization for two of the bigger egos in popular music that they no longer pack the power to fill stadiums on their own and must now resort to new strategies in order to continue playing the major venues to which they've become accustomed.  That's why you see arena shows with eighteen different hair metal bands jammed onto one bill - they'd rather share a hockey arena dressing room with Trixter and Tuff than have the entire dressing room at Reggie's all to themselves.  While Sting himself might not be opposed to playing smaller rooms, the smaller dressing rooms simply do not allow enough room to engage in eight hours of uninterrupted tantric sex.

4. If the tour is a hit, we should all expect to see a live album arrive just in time for the Christmas 2014 shopping season, with a summer 2015 reprise of their successful tour.

5. What if the "Paul Simon and Sting: On Stage Together" tour fails to put booties in the seats?  Where does Sting go from here?  Should Andy Summers, who is in the middle of trying to secure a record deal for his new ROCK BAND Circa Zero, and Stewart Copeland keep their schedules open?

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