Oh, the musical genius of having three relatively cute British gals all flat-out refusing to sing a harmony part seems pretty punk rock in retrospect. Plus, do you think you'd ever get The Bangles to pose with a bunch of inflatable bananas?
4. The Bangles
Would there have been a Bangles without the Go-Go's first blazing the trail? Probably not. While that's reason enough for many to hate the Go-Go's, the simple truth is that it was nice having the Bangles around. They were the Rolling Stones to the Go'Go's Beatles. Plus, Susannah Hoffs was nice enough to look at and played a Rickenbacker. The fact that they covered "September Gurls" at a time when Alex Chilton probably needed the money makes them forever cool in our book.
3. The Runaways
Okay, they were technically a '70s band, but the truth of the matter is that nobody actually paid any attention to The Runaways until the '80s, when Joan Jett and Lita Ford achieved their own success. The fact that such a band could languish in total obscurity during their brief time together makes me ashamed to be an American. Five hot chicks, tons of great songs - like "Cherry Bomb", "Born to Be Bad" (which was co-written by future Bangle bassist Michael Steele), and "Neon Angels" are just the tip of a very awesome rock & roll juggernaut. If you haven't taken the time to check them out, seriously, what are you waiting for?
2. The Go-Go's
Wowzer, did we ever have the hots for Jane Wiedlin? Those huge, dark eyes, that mischievous smile, and a mouth that made our pants tighten at the mere mention of the words "our lips are sealed". We're not alone, of course, as many a tube sock was demolished at the thought of spending five minutes in a broom closet with the diminutive guitarist.
In all seriousness, "Beauty & The Beat" is a great album. In fact, song-for-song, we contend that it is one of the most consistently solid rock & roll records ever made. Every single song on that album could have been released as a single and been a Top 20 hit.
1. Poison
Let's see, the drummer spells her name Rikki. They also wear more make-up than an entire high school cheer-leading squad. And get a load of those clothes. Fuck, it looks like somebody put Appollonia, Sheila E., and Samantha Fox in a blender and hit "Surprise Me".
Like The Bangles, these girls weren't afraid to write from their hearts either. "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" is probably about getting boned in the back of a flat bed pick-up truck and having the antler from a dead deer poke you in the ear while the third-string Junior Varsity quarterback pokes you in the rear. Ah, leave it to Poison to have their finger on the pulse of what it's like to be a teenage chick.