Ah, it's Wednesday, Hump Day, when a young person's fancy turns to...that's right, making it to Friday. Of course, Friday night is when a young person's fancy turns to humping so we at The Shit felt a playlist dedicated to this most primal of human endeavors was in order. Now go out there and make us proud
Willie Nelson - Maria (Shut Up And Kiss Me)
Leave it to our greatest living musical treasure to deliver a line like "When my world got dark, you turned my light on" and make it seem so deeply profound, playful, yet irresistible to deny. See, love doesn't have to about love, but about feeling love in that moment of need, when the body craves a connection of the flesh.
Others might deliver such a sentiment in a big, schmaltzy power ballad meant to make you feel like God is descending from the heavens, but that's the difference between Willie and, well, everybody else.
The Pretenders - Message Of Love
When London-by-way-of-Ohio punk chanteuse Chrissie Hynde coos "Talk to me with a message of love" on the third cut from Pretenders II, she does so with an alluring vulnerability that lies in stark contrast to the predatory maneater she portrays on the album's first two sexually-charged juggernauts, "The Adultress" and "Bad Boys Get Spanked". That she's able to switch gears so effortlessly, caring not for the all-important "punk cred", and deliver up such a beautifully unguarded declaration as this is what ultimately separated Hynde from the competition.
Weezer - (If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To
Hey, who says the guy always has to be the first one to make the move? For every woman who has ever said, "I found the love of my life", I can't help think there's a guy who is muttering "Yeah right, if I hadn't finally worked up the nerve to talk to you, you woulda never come to me, babe." Thankfully, the rock world has a worthy sexual spokesman in Rivers Cuomo, who declares "Girl, if you're wondering if I want you to, I want you to, so make a move cuz I ain't got all night."
Beck - Think I'm In Love
Folks talk about Beck as if the man is able to turn water to wine at will, but he's a regular dude who finds his stomach filled with butterflies in the presence of his chosen object of desire, just like the rest of us. Is there a more universal sentiment in the "game of love" than "I think I'm in love, but I'm kinda nervous to say so"? Not bad for the guy who first came to our collective attention with the nonsensical lyrical juxtapositions of "Loser".
Tenacious D - Fuck Her Gently
The song is funny as hell, the sentiment is true, and this video was made by the esteemed John Kricfalusi and the fine folks at Spumco (Ren and Stimpy), so how can it NOT make this list? I mean, sometimes you just gotta dispense with "The Notebook" quotes and get down to some straight-up boom-chicka-wah-wah. Yer welcome.