After describing the incredible self discipline necessary to pay off a 30-year mortgage in only five years, my friend turned the tables and asked me "So, what's you're proudest moment?"
Honest to God, the first that came to my mind, wasn't the time that I went broke trying to save a dog's life, orthe numerous times I've bought a homeless man a hot meal, or donated my last dollar to the GoFundMe page of someone I didn't even know.
No, the first thing that came to my mind also required incredible self discipline. In fact, it still does because its a fight I wage every single day of my life, thus far successfully:
"Yeah, yeah, enough with the build-up, what's your proudest moment already?"
Okay, here goes: I have never heard Hanson's "MMMBop".
I know, I know, pretty amazing, huh?
Lemme tell you, it hasn't been easy. To this day, there are some places I simply can't go - Starbucks, JCPenny, Hanson concerts - but I tend to avoid such places by nature anyway.
Other places, like elevators, can be a bit of a crapshoot, but, again, I don't find myself faced with the notion of hopping on an elevator very often, as I prefer to take the stairs if at all possible. The one exception was a recent trip to the top of the Hancock Tower when a friend came in from out of town and expressed interest in doing a few of the usual "touristy" Chitown things.
It is a testament to our friendship that I never even stopped to consider that doing so could ruin everything I'd worked so hard for these past 20 years or so. Thankfully, the elevator ride to the top was deathly quiet.
Then there was the time I was hired to review a Tinted Windows concert for the local newspaper. This, if you'll recall, was the shortlived supergroup featuring Cheap Trick's Bun E. Carlos, James Iha from Smashing Pumpkins, Adam Schlesinger from Fountains of Wayne, and Taylor fucking Hanson from fucking Hanson. Any other time, I might have refused such an offer, but, you know, rent.
The scene was the venerable Troubadour in Hollywood, where every other person in the legendary club was obviously there to see Taylor Hanson.
As the night progressed, and the female screams of "Taylor!" between songs grew louder and louder, I thought for sure the band would succumb to the temptation to ignite this proverbial powder keg by playing Hanson's biggest hit for an encore, but it never came, much to the disappointment of nearly everyone in attendance, except me, of course.
Then, of course, there are the unavoidable lunch dates with co-workers whose car radios might just be turned to some godawful radio station or the years spent in one cubicle farm or another where some unsuspecting fellow employee could have their radio turned up just loud enough for m to hear it and ruin my whole day.
Thankfully, noise-cancelling headphones do not prevent me from getting my job done.
Granted, some day, my luck may run out, but for now, I take great pride in being one of the only people who can honestly claim they've never heard "Mmmbop".