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Five Easy Steps To Fix The Music Industry (For Everybody)


1. Nobody Rides For Free.

Who the fuck came up with the idea that music was free?

It sure as hell wasn't somebody who makes music for a living. So why should those of us that do have to put up with that bullshit? Fuck Spotify, Youtube, and whatever the name of Jay-Z's streaming tax write-off was (Oh, it's still around?), this shit just got real.

Unless Jimmy Iovine is knocking on your door wanting to turn your Girl Scout troop into a bunch of singing strippers, don't let people dictate how you make money in this business.

"BUT WHAT ABOUT THE EXPOSURE THAT SPOTIFY OR YOUTUBE BRINGS US?"

Yes, what about that exposure? Has it come? No?

You ever tried paying rent with likes and follows?

2. Go Physical or Go Home
There is no money for artists in digital formats of any kind. Sure, you might be able to squeeze out some CD sales, but where's the pizzazz in that? screw the major label system that doesn't want most of us anyway, don't let them con you into working for free while Chris fucking Brown buys a new Ferrari because he forgot where he parked the last one.

Unless you too are huge in Dubai, physical sales are a revenue stream that you cannot deny. You like nice things, don't you?

3. Think With The Future In Mind

If AARP Axl Rose knew he'd still be required to belt out his greatest hits at the top of his lungs, matching his younger self's vocal range and boundless energy, maybe he'd have done things differently back when most of his hair metal brethren could fit into leather pants without a shoehorn and a team of handlers who, at the end of the day, deserve hazard pay.

Meanwhile Smashmouth pulls up to the headlining gig at Ribfest in bowling shirts and flip flops and gets paid the same money.

4. "Kanye Lost His Video Screens, SHOW CANCELLED!"

Are fans there to watch your video director empty out his bag of tricks on the ginormous video screens or to watch an actual live band tear the roof off the joint? Was a time musical giants didn't need video screens the size of King Kong's Ding Dong to leave us speechless.

5. Are DJ's Here To Stay Or Are You?

Speaking as a lifetime power pop kingpin who has made more in two years of DJ'ing than I ever did playing dive bars with some taped-together live band that barely lasted the show, it is INSANE the amount of money that clubs and festivals will throw at DJ's. Even awful ones.

What does that say about live bands in general?

A) Maybe our schtick is getting kinda stale.

Those who work at music venues will be the first to tell you that, after awhile, the sight of a dozen guys piling out of a van and proceeding to haul in road case after road case after speaker after Marshall stack after double-bass drum kit with a fucking gong every night, suddenly the dopey mope with the samplers who can have the place shaking like a bounce house in five minutes flat seems like the lesser headache.


Meanwhile this guy continues to rack up endorsements all the while working 300 nights out of the year.

B) Those bands that work their asses to create a memorable show will survive.


Perhaps more bands should ask themselves, "How do we make ourselves indispensable to promoters and club owners?" The answer better be good enough to give the DJ the night off.

C) Those bands that don't, well, ever tried DJ'ing?


Or maybe leave the music to those who have a passion for such things and would do this for free because, well, we have, but no more.

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