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ABC WTF?!: Revisiting 'How To Be A...Zillionaire'!


For every ten American teenagers who'd purchased ABC's Trevor Horn-produced The Lexicon of Love, only two bothered to buy Beauty Stab. Even in the UK, where one would think such a band could phone it in and continue racking up the #1 hits, the press did a vicious about-face, slagging the new effort in the boldest typeface available. 

But how much of a departure was "That Was Then This Is Now", really? To my ears, not much at all. So perhaps the deck was stacked against ABC the same way it had been for anything Dexy's Midnight Runner's recorded after "Come On Eileen".

The commercial failure of Beauty Stab didn't just cost the band their industry standing, it cost them their sax player (Stephen Singleton left shortly after the album's release) and, with him, maybe even their career.

While I count myself among those who considered Beauty Stab a worthy follow-up to their debut's pure symphonic pop sheen, it did have an unfinished feel to it that exposed the blanks Horn's production and arranging skills would have otherwise filled in.

So, with ABC reduced to the singer and guitarist, the band's remaining fan base began counting the seconds until Martin Fry announced his decision to embark on a solo career, but, instead, he hired two non-musical members and brought his vision of a living cartoon version of the band to life.

Naturally, I feared the band had allowed desperation to killed what remained of their respectability.

Then one night I stumbled home from a night on the town, turned on MTV, and caught the "Be Near Me" video.



I stood there mouth agape at what I saw as Martin Fry's version of "Honey I Shrunk The Pop Band" took shape before my eyes while the song itself led me to mutter "Martin, you magnificent bastard".

Even so, I realized that I was seeing the video at 3AM. It might not ever be aired again, for all I knew. I suddenly began searching for a blank VHS tape to record what I could. Deep down, I knew it would be a UK hit, without question, but what I didn't expect was that it would become the band's first US Top 10.

But then I remind myself what a wonderful year 1985 was for music.

It was 1986 when all hell broke loose and albums started sounding like synthesizers run amok, but for a brief moment, ABC made cartoon bands cool again.

In hindsight, it was a risky move that could have backfired a million different ways. For example, what if they hadn't chosen "Be Near Me" as the first single? Was middle America ready for "So Hip It Hurts" and its opening line ("Do you remember when men wore skirts?)"

Hey, maybe Adam Ant could get away with that, but Martin Fry?

Thankfully, Mr. Fry knows how to play an audience and "How To Be A Millionaire" provided the second-half of a knockout one-two punch, landing at #20 on the U.S. Pop Singles chart.



Sadly, by the time the band was making the promotional rounds, appearing on the ABC network's Solid Gold to mime "Be Near Me" and "How To Be A Millionaire", David Yarritu and Eden were nowhere to be seen.

In hindsight, Fry's experiment had worked, launching the band back into the top tier of global pop acts so the time to put an end to the cheeky charade was now, or else risk that line-up becoming immortalized.

Amazingly, ABC's biggest hit was yet to come.



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